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The Road To Wellville
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bornagain .wav (326k) .mp3 (237k)
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Dr. Kellogg: I do not seek monetary reward, for I am called to a greater glory! Here at the Battle Creek Sanitarium, the spirits soar, the mind is educated, and the bowels...the bowels are born again!
Poultney Dab: HE'S THROWING BOXES OF SHIT AT THE GUESTS!!
Inteviewer: Sir, how often should one exonerate one's bowels?
Dr. Kellogg: One should never, ever interrupt one's desire to defecate!
Mr. Jones: Enjoy your little nap! I'm off to the warm embrace of my afternoon enema.
Dr. Kellogg: I warn you sir! An erection is a flagpole on your grave!
This is the BEST way to cheer up somebody, or just to play when you're just starting your day...VERY HARD not to laugh along with this song! Hahaha!
Dr. Kellogg: Masturbation is the silent killer of the night! The vilest sin of self-pollution!!
Dr. Kellogg: Sir, corn is the injuns gift to the new world, and the corn flake is my gift to the entire world.
Dr. Kellogg: What is a sausage? A sausage is an indigestible balloon of decayed beef, riddled with tuberculosis! Eat it and die!
Dr. Kellogg: Sex is the sewer drain of a healthy body, sir! Any use of the sexual act other than procreation, is a waste of vital energy!
Dr. Kellogg: Take Mr. Lightbody immediately to the yogurt room and give him fifteen gallons!
William Lightbody: Oh no, no, I can't eat 15 gallons of yogurt!
Dr. Kellogg: Oh, it's not going in THAT end, Mr. Lightbody!
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